Friday, June 3, 2011

MilesTones: Only in California—Patron Saint of What? Naughty Monastery—and More

by Rev. Austin Miles
We are facing an engery crisis. All have been advised to conserve energy before our goose is cooked without the propane being lit. The glaring headline spread across the front page of this past Friday's Contra Coasta Times: proclaimed: "PG&E Billing Is About To change. "Before optimism soared too high, The Left Coast came through once again with the sub-headline: "Households that use the most electiricty will see rates lowered; everyone else will pay a bit more." How's that again? 
Thinking that this must have been read wrong or threaded wrong, the next lines were carefully studied, It was clearly written:  " State regulators approved the most significant electricity rate changes for PG&E's residential customers in a decade, effectively LOWERING RATES for households that consume the MOST electricity while slightly RAISING THEM for everyone else." (highlights mine)  So California wisdom dictates that to CONSERVE and SAVE electricity, customers who use more will be charged less while those who use less will be charged more. Problem solved saith they. (?)  I have to take a long walk before even finishing this column. But don't get me wrong…I….love…California.

The Global Warming issue is heating up as government scientists claim that the cooling trend is directly related to global warming. A release that just escaped states that the tornadoes destroying cities in America are also spawned by global warming, a scenario pumped by the left leaning liberal media that order their news reporters to print what will further the party. 
FLASH!  We can tell you EXACTLY what Global Warming is causing—a road leading to a global tax that will make billionaires of those pushing the 'cause'  when they finally succeed in establishing their world-wide (global) tax.

Obama, whose Divine Birth demands no birth certificate, spent Memorial day playing another round of golf after performing some minor patriotic photo-opt functions which, thinketh we, might have best served our country. In a higher profile past Memorial Day appearance, The One had THIS to say to to the world: "On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes - and I see many of them in the audience here today - our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."  Earth to D.C:  Please instruct the teleprompter staff to type out word definitions along with his text.

In Show Biz the goal of a performer is to 'bring down the house.' But to close a monastery? That's what happend in Rome when the monks were treated to a performance of lap dancing by a nun. (!)  The Pope, nun too pleased, closed down the rocking monastery scattering the holy-moley shazam men in all directions.

Another deeply held belief has nose-dived through eternity….the belief that 'there are no atheists in foxholes.'  Taint so anymore. The latest Washington appointments under the Obama Administration is to appoint… get this….atheist chaplains in the military. What? The word chaplain is a clergical religious term meaning, "A member of the clergy attached to a special group, as a military unit." That is the definition in the dictionary.
So how can the atheists be given that term? I suppose they were given it by the same people who called same sex relationships, '"marriage," a word which specifically means;  a union between a man and a woman.
Not to worry. Those atheists who falsely use a religious term for a title will no doubt fill a great need in performing military chapel "marriage" ceremonies between two or three of the same sex, since the Feds are saying that "gays" can serve and be open about their homosexuality. This means that the atheist chaplains will have their hands full counseling those who are nervous about openly inviting a Marine to be their date for the Military Ball.

THE DOTTED LINES: Sex is becoming more confusing. Taking Shirley to see the doctor at Stanford University Medical Center, we were greeted by a headline in the Stanford University Newspaper that proclaimed; Transgender Day at Stanford. One patient in line was asked about the problem causing the discomfort and answered that she simply hadn't been feeling himself at all lately….seeming to take in that theme, a mother refuses to reveal the gender of her baby—gender today is a politically incorrect act of aggression, dontcha know, while a mother paints her little boy's toenails with pink polish for all to see.  And in a story that just went out, homosexuals are admitting openly that their goal is to indoctrinate…!  Hey everybody….time to wake up….Wake up call!!  Ahh what's the use?

The ACLU, (determined to stir up everybody so that while they are fighting amongst themselves, the Communist Agenda can quietly slip in, take us over and make us all slaves), are suing to establish porn rights for prisoners… while in Ireland, an openly 'gay' man, David Norris, is running for President of Ireland even though he was quoted in a newspaper interview about man/boy sex which, he pointed out, was normal in the classic eras of Greece and Rome….the head (not a shipboard bathroom, or CEO but the actual human head) of Saint Vitalis of Assisi, the Patron Saint of Genitals,(Yikes!) was sold at an auction in Dublin, Ireland for lb3,500.  This is the Saint to pray to when troubled by venereal diseases. Why is his head so valuable?....head…genitals…ahhh forgetit!  Write your own MilesTones on this topic…I'm outta here!

It's time to take another very long walk.