Thursday, June 9, 2011

MilesTones Briefs Pulled Up: Weiner Poll Results

by Rev. Austin Miles
Is it men in general who suffer sexual abstinence anxieties (SAA)? Or does the disease especially target politicians?  The answer seems to be both. MilesTones conducted a purely irrational survey and found that 11 out of 10 men acknowledge a Weiner Problem, named for Congressman Anthony Wiener (D-NY).
Since the de-panting activitiies of the Beltway Congressman was unbuckled,  the medical profession has paid close attention to what appears to be a new strain of acute Obsessive Compulsive Disorder among politicans addicted to mating rituals which result in sexual over-drive symptoms that are, without treatment,  impossible to brake.

Since being revealed in this column, the medical profession (after intensive study), has officially re-catagorized the Weiner Problem (now published in the Diagnostic Reference Manual), as "Restless Weiner Syndrome." (RWS)  It is a destructive disease that has fried Weiner's political career and compromised a formerly powerful and rigid Democratic Party. See the story of the wayward congressman titled, "This Weiner Should Be Grilled"  at:
Weiner's wife, Huma Abedin does not plan to divorce him. Figures. According to reports, she is a Muslim who has been raised to believe she is in under total subjugation to her husband, who can have as many other women as he wants.  Her father is an Islamic scholar and her mother is a teacher of sociology in Saudi Arabia. That does it. We are now zipping up future Weiner reports. Enough already!
UNRELATED to the Weiner Problem (maybe not), San Francisco with its financial woes is in the process of banning circumcision. We don't see how a ban on circumcision will slice their budget, but we suppose that the way the economy is going, they must make cuts on everyrthing…except ........ahhh forgetit!
MilesTones is taking on a side job that will make us a fortune…selling red ink to the government…..Dr. Kovorkian died…without assistance…Jerry Gebrosky sent us a photo of a church sign that stated: "Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the snake, and the snake didn't have a leg to stand on."  Good one.

News Briefs Pulled Up:  Obama has declared the month of June; Lesbian,Gay,Bisexual,Transgender( LGBT) month. For corn sakes, does every news item have to be about sex? On a more serious note, a man was caught trying to smuggle 100 snakes under his overcoat on a train on the west coast. The man had inhumanely sewn the snake's mouths shut.  He was promptly caught (wiggling seen under his overcoat) and busted.
You can say whatever you want about California, but this state protects animals and has zero tolerance for anyone who abuses them. Anybody caught mistreating any kind of animal or creature will be severely punished, and rightfully so.
There are countless pet friendly hotels and motels out here where you can check in your dog with you.  You see many people walking dogs and stopping to chat with each other while the dogs with wagging tails get acquainted. It is a freindly atmosphere.

In artistic, colorful Carmel, where Clint Eastwood was mayor, and animal advocate, Doris Day, is a citizen, you will see countless people walking their dogs. Recenlty, I stopped to look around on the main street and saw leashed dogs walking with their owners in every direction I turned,  People who love animals are in general, good people. And this is why I love California.

Sudden Thawts Dept: Couldn't Harold Camping's end-of-the-world alarms be compared to yelling "fire" in a crowded theatre since the ensuing panic could cause injuries or death? Several have committed suicide over Camping's ravings. Perhaps it's time to stuff his mouth with Mr. Whipple's product. Words causing Panic and injury is not protected free speech.

The so-called Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas (only family members, not affiliated with The Baptist Union or any other Christian church body, financially supported by Marxists in attempt to destroy Christianity) has received government favor in picketing funerals of servicemen and women, called ' free speech rights, specifically granted in this case because it causes chaos and unrest in this country while agitating people to fight each other, weakening established social order…a known Communist Strategy.

Let's make this clear: Free speech rights guaranteed that citizens could and can publicly criticize the government without reprisals…period. It does not give a right to insult people, religion, make obscene gestures, statements or to create and display so-called 'art' that trashes things and beliefs dear to socieity. People do NOT have the RIGHT to say degrading, insulting or vulgar things to others.This includes saying obscene words on TV and in movies. Everyday speech should be respectful and civil. Human dignity would require that. 
Deliberately causing added stress and chaos with grieving families by these Kansas nuts picketing funerals to make a socialist political statement, displaying offensive photos and using offensive language and gestures is NOT protected by the 'free speech amendment' since it promotes a breakdown in social order.

Bullying and intimidation is not protected free speech.  All communications should be respectful. With respect there is dignity. Where there is dignity there is ethics. And where there are ethics, there is power. THIS is what made America great in the beginning, and can make her great again in the future..

Regular contributor, Rev. Ed Berkey, retired,  sent this note: "The ultimate wireless communication is prayer."  A big AMEN to that.  Let's all spend more time in prayer to get our country back on track and back to it's original purpose, her prosperity, freedom and power.
Let's get back to speaking with respect to people and exhibiting civility for a change instead of crude language and insults. THEN we can see our country get back to the greatness it was created for. It is time to bring dignity back to society and show some class. Then life would start to look better, feel better and be a happier experience. Who in their right mind would object to that?

Rev. Austin Miles, a busy First Responder Chaplain in the California Bay Area unwinds by deliberately finding the funny side of the news and putting perspective on nutty notions.