By Selwyn Duke
Step right up, folks! We have here behind these mysterious walls
curiosities to amaze and astound. See
the lawyer with anger issues who’ll scream at the court like Sam Kinison and
then put a take-down move on the bailiff.
See the attorney who’ll sue on your behalf because American Airlines
didn’t hire your legally blind self as a jumbo-jet pilot, and then become the
judge when in court and rule in your favor.
See the voting-rights attorney who can divine
guilt or innocence based solely on skin color!
It’s all here for a measly $28.2 billion a year.
What this is all about is a story right out
of the You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up file.
The Department of Justice is now pulling out all the stops to hire, writes
PJ Tatler, “attorneys and staff who are dwarfs or who have ‘psychiatric
disabilities’ or ‘severe intellectual disabilities.’” This includes people with schizophrenia (as
if the liberalism afflicting DOJ employees isn’t enough mental disorder for one
person). Welcome to One Flew Over the
Shyster’s Nest.
And there’s more. These “targeted disability” hires can
“self-identify” their disability.
Moreover, they won’t have to compete with other civil-service
applicants, but, rather, can be hired before a position is advertised or prior
to its closing date, and they also can receive a special dispensation from the
requirement that new DOJ attorneys have a year of practicing law under their
belt. Heck, it’s even rumored that these
quota hires won’t have to know there are 50 states, how to spell Ohio
What’s responsible for a policy so
unfathomable? Some may figure it’ll
allow the matching of Attorney General Eric Holder with the right employee so
the DOJ can finally have a complete idiot. Perhaps, though, Holder is merely using a
variation on a technique Rodney Dangerfield articulated in “Back to
School.” To wit: if you want to look
thin, surround yourself with fat people.
No chance of being outshone by your psyche-ward underlings, huh, Eric
the Red?
Anyway, Holder is fit to be the top dog in
his asylum. I mean, he’s not
disabled—he’s differently abled!
Who
else can play a voting-rights shell game where states get sued for requiring
voter I.D., menacing Black Panthers get off for intimidating voters, and
residents of a New York
So now you stand over there with the military—no
vote for you!
This policy is a modern-college try at
bringing radical egalitarianism to full flower, and it’s a good example of why
I’ve often said that those advocating such things have equality on the
brain. Yet this is predicated on the assumption
that gray matter is extant at the DOJ.
This notion is thrown into question for many reasons, not the least of
which is that the DOJ sideshow barkers omitted from their list the tattooed,
live-animal-eating geek, the bearded lady and the microcephalic. Although, the DOJ certainly does seem to have
an abundance of pinheads.
If you’re wondering about my tone, no, I
don’t really think this is a joke. It’s
just a situation where if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. And all I can say is, beam me up,
Scotty. You may be going where no man
has gone before, but it can’t possibly be any weirder than this place is
becoming.
